Ever had a Yo-Yo day?

Okay, this is not a happy post.

Things have been very different for me these last couple of years. I have lost lots of 'friends' and have been struggling to get my hubby accepted into my country.

I always thought the one thing I could rely on was my job. I've been here for quite a few years, have had an amazing rapport with my boss, who just happens to be the head of the Board of Education. He's the head honcho.

Unfortunately, an 'ex-friend' has kind of swept in and seems to have made himself appear like a GOD and I've felt the rapport with my boss has changed. He no longer asks my opinion on things and no longer treats me the same. Not bad, just not the same.

This ex friend is ONE: a man and TWO: fluent in Japanese.Those two things alone make the Japanese swoon over him as if he is Buddha incarnate.

Like I said, I thought I could rely on my job, until tonight.I just received a phone call from my boss asking what my plans are after my contract is up in 6 MONTHS.

I've worked for the man for almost 5 years. Contracts are not discussed until x-mas time. I told him that I'm waiting on the Consulate's decision for my hubby's application and we were advised we should find out by Feb-March. My contract is up March 31st.

I understand they can't wait until the last minute to find out if I'll stay or not, because they will need to replace me if I leave and March will be too short of a notice. But I DID expect they give me at least until January.

He made it clear in his own Japanese beat around the bush sort of way, that they need to know NOW. And if I can't tell them NOW, then I can't expect to have a job after March, if my hubby is denied.

This came out of the blue and I am really deflated. I can't shake the feeling that my so called friend had alot to do with this. And it disgusts me.

I hate hypocritical people. I hate people who think and act like they are better than others. The only thing this guy has on me is his Japanese skills, because when it comes to the job, I have more experience, more know-how and I've had the most results.

So now, come March, either my hubby will be accepted into my country and we can leave as soon as my contract is ended. = the perfect scenario (and we all know how often THAT happens.) OR I will be out of a job, out of a house and with a husband who cannot live with me in my country.

This is a very crappy night.


BTW, we are in the middle of a typhoon...sounds like my windows are going to shatter from the wind and rain.


I'm feeling so down. Have you ever just felt so defeated, so double-crossed and felt like the whole world is against you?

In all my years in Japan, if I were to leave tomorrow, I would be leaving this country with 0 friends. Count 'em. ZERO.

Yes, I have 'friends' we hang out with sometimes, but it's just that kind of temporary friendship as they too have found that finding true friendships in Japan seem almost impossible. Being on work contracts, everyone just seems to be out for themselves.

I can't tell you all how ready I am to leave here. I miss my family, my friends, and a reality I can deal with.

Japan is just too superficial for my liking. And I've been here long enough to know about it. I am tired of this place.

I can't believe how things have turned out. I don't know how this has happened. I have had the worst luck with people here. I swear.

I'm trying to stay positive but it is so hard.

I just received a message from the BAB magazine and they would like to profile me for their magazine next month. I mean, that is great news, right? It's an honour. So yes, I'm trying to focus on better things, but tonight has just got me thrown for a loop.