My First Attempt

Well, I finally did it. I made a blog.

I have never been able to keep up with a diary so I'm kind of thinking why did I do this.
Actually, as I type this I'm staring at the diary I bought a week after I got married, sitting on my shelf collecting dust.

It's strange because people who know me well, know I always have something to say and have an opinion on just about anything. And am never afraid to voice it. But I'm sitting here not knowing what to write.

Okay. A little about myself:

I absolutely love my family (most of the time).

I love to travel, which unfortunately since my marriage, hasn't been something I've been able to do. That's one of the beauties of singlehood; you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. But once you're married, it's different. I don't care what feminists or anyone else says. It is different. And it should be.
When you marry someone, you vow to share your life with them. Decisions should be made with the both of you.

What else...?

Um...I am an English Teacher, hoping to change careers...I am a published writer and am currently working on a novel. My dream is to stop teaching and work from home writing novels. I want to spend more time with my family and less time in a work atmosphere with people who mean very little or nothing to me, at all.

I vow not to be one of those people who, on their deathbed, regret not spending more time with the people they love.

Lately, I have become quite disgruntled with people in general. It has been eleven years since I walked out of my home, my country and my roots to live anywhere but there. And in these past eleven years, I have had more life lessons than I can count.

The lessons life has thrown at me have very rarely been gentle, but rather brandishing and scarring my mind and heart. Imagine a hot iron being pressed against your forehead for 10 full seconds. That's what most of those life lessons felt like to me.

Regrets? I've had a few...but too few to mention. (Yes, I'm a Sinatra fan.)

Through it all, most times I was left standing alone. But I survived...with strength I never knew I had and with the hand of God. And because of this, I am a firm believer in tough love. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I have no sympathy for weak personalities.

And I admittedly hate people who have had everything given to them on a silver platter and who have never had to struggle in life. They may look good, but more times than not, they are emptier than a hollow vase. No substance, no strength and no idea.

The thing is, here in Japan, all the people I felt were decent friends, turned out to be like the scum walking the "crucero" in Mexico, when I lived there...and trust me: most of those homosapiens barely passed the test of being human. Their resemblance to beast with only instinct, rather than heart and reason, was scary.

Through my time here, I have learned that I had invested time and effort and a little of my heart on people that just weren't worth it. They never understood me, nor cared enough for me. It's a sad realization when you wake up to it. And it's enough to change your outlook on people forever.

Now, I am more than happy to keep that circle closed tight. Outside of my family, which are my life, and the very few friends that have stood the test of time with me, that circle is firmly closed.

And it's a breath of fresh air for me.

Over the years and the struggles I faced, my personality has gone through evolutions and drastic changes.

I struggle each day with the person that I am and the person that I want to be. And I thank my family and few friends that have seen these changes in me and despite it all, love me unconditionally.

I can't ask for more than that. :D

Wow...and I had nothing to say...can you imagine if I did??!

Well, I suppose that's it for now. I'll just leave you with my new life motto.

This is what molds me, my thoughts and actions for each day and for my future. I read it somewhere and it struck a chord with me. I never stopped believing or working towards achieving it...and I will achieve it.

"Loving what you do is Happiness
Doing what you love is Freedom."

Life doesn't get any better than that! :D